I was running try to cover my ears but it was not working. I can heard what’s they are talking about.
With a lot of kid, 5th grades probably are a funniest grade because they are the largest students in school. I was having a lot of fun, too because there is nothing happened that I need to care. And if nothing that you get over, you will not understand and know what its life mean. It was me!!! But one day, when I went home I heard my grandma talk to my dad. She said: “You need to divorce to her if you want to see my face or you will see my die”. I didn’t understand what happened but that night I was thinking a lot. But I know it does will be bad and It was about my mom. Some story about my mom that I heard from my paternal family made me think that.
A lot of question in my head, “Was that true that my grandma want my parents to divorce?” “Why she said that”… I can’t sleep. Morning, I saw my dad was very sad. The eyes of my mom were very red. I asked them what happened but they all quiet. It’s the long long or maybe the longest longest quiet that I never seem. At the same day my grandma told me: “you know what your mom is very cruel. She hates me and hates you, too. Your dad is a nice person he gives you whatever you like. In fact, he loves you. If your parents are separate. Who do you choose?” I said to her with a angry voice: “No, my parents will never separate. Please I don’t want to hear any more.” My question was sold she wants it. She wanted my parents to divorce. I was crying. I didn’t tell mom what happened. The next day, Grandma still told me a bad story about my mom. She told: I’m serious I know you love your mom but looked her she didn’t care about me. You love me, right?” I said to her: “why, she is bad?” she answered: “your mom is not pretty, she didn’t listen to me. Her sisters are so fat like a pig. She didn’t have any job. She doesn’t love your dad but his money.” I was thinking she hate my mom because she is not pretty that’s not a good reason. I run to my mom and ask: “grandma told me you are bad, but I don’t think so I think you’re the best.” My mom was crying and hugs me. She thought I grow up enough to know this. She told me that paternal grandma hated her because she was poor. She told me that grandma didn’t accept her. Grandma always wanted to kick my mom out of this house. She gave me the letter that grandma wrote to her. It wrote.
N.
Are you deaf? Or you are so stupid to understand that what I was talking about. I said to you what? You need to break up with my son. I know my son loves you but please forget him, go another place or if you want go to another country. I give you this money to forget my son.
L.
When I read those sentences I think my grandma is so cruel. My mom said to me that She just want to show me this letter to stop thinking bad to her. And she said your grandma is a lot of nice, now. So don’t hate her just because my grandma hates my mom. I thinking mom was right my grandma didn’t shouted at my mom or hit her or something like that. It’s okay now. That was what I thinking about my grandma but it’s all wrong she was make my dad thinks that my mom was treats her very badly. I can’t think well about her anymore. I hated her ( it's difficult to say that because she loved me a lot. but I love my mom I can't love people that talk bad about my mom). One day, my family were together to talk about that problem. My mom said: “Mom, I know you don’t like me but please I’m Luna’s mom. I don’t want, my child thinks badly about me. You’re a mother you know that feeling when your son hate you.” My dad said to my grandma: “Mom, if it’s true that you said to Luna (it’s my name) that her mom was bad and everything about her was bad?” My grandma answers: “NO, why you think that? Is that woman telling you that?” I said to my grandma: “No, it’s me. I’m sorry but I don’t want my mom was crying about you anymore.” My mom suddenly went out. When she came back I saw her eyes in tears. My grandma said nothing and she leaves, but I heard some voice from her. I thought she said: “Luna, I’m sorry to make you feel bad”. The next day, grandma treat me like normal, it was like nothing happened. I thought, my grandma understand me and I thought she love me and she didn’t want to me fell bad anymore. That day, the sky was blue, the sun was so shiny.
My grandma like my mom a littel bit just because of me. My parents are happy and the air of my house is became normal. I love my family. When I remeber that moment is difficult to me to deal with it but I feel ok now. It will stay in my miond forever but by the way I still want to thanks that moment because if that moment happend when I grow up I can't deal many difficult thing in life.=)
With a lot of kid, 5th grades probably are a funniest grade because they are the largest students in school. I was having a lot of fun, too because there is nothing happened that I need to care. And if nothing that you get over, you will not understand and know what its life mean. It was me!!! But one day, when I went home I heard my grandma talk to my dad. She said: “You need to divorce to her if you want to see my face or you will see my die”. I didn’t understand what happened but that night I was thinking a lot. But I know it does will be bad and It was about my mom. Some story about my mom that I heard from my paternal family made me think that.
A lot of question in my head, “Was that true that my grandma want my parents to divorce?” “Why she said that”… I can’t sleep. Morning, I saw my dad was very sad. The eyes of my mom were very red. I asked them what happened but they all quiet. It’s the long long or maybe the longest longest quiet that I never seem. At the same day my grandma told me: “you know what your mom is very cruel. She hates me and hates you, too. Your dad is a nice person he gives you whatever you like. In fact, he loves you. If your parents are separate. Who do you choose?” I said to her with a angry voice: “No, my parents will never separate. Please I don’t want to hear any more.” My question was sold she wants it. She wanted my parents to divorce. I was crying. I didn’t tell mom what happened. The next day, Grandma still told me a bad story about my mom. She told: I’m serious I know you love your mom but looked her she didn’t care about me. You love me, right?” I said to her: “why, she is bad?” she answered: “your mom is not pretty, she didn’t listen to me. Her sisters are so fat like a pig. She didn’t have any job. She doesn’t love your dad but his money.” I was thinking she hate my mom because she is not pretty that’s not a good reason. I run to my mom and ask: “grandma told me you are bad, but I don’t think so I think you’re the best.” My mom was crying and hugs me. She thought I grow up enough to know this. She told me that paternal grandma hated her because she was poor. She told me that grandma didn’t accept her. Grandma always wanted to kick my mom out of this house. She gave me the letter that grandma wrote to her. It wrote.
N.
Are you deaf? Or you are so stupid to understand that what I was talking about. I said to you what? You need to break up with my son. I know my son loves you but please forget him, go another place or if you want go to another country. I give you this money to forget my son.
L.
When I read those sentences I think my grandma is so cruel. My mom said to me that She just want to show me this letter to stop thinking bad to her. And she said your grandma is a lot of nice, now. So don’t hate her just because my grandma hates my mom. I thinking mom was right my grandma didn’t shouted at my mom or hit her or something like that. It’s okay now. That was what I thinking about my grandma but it’s all wrong she was make my dad thinks that my mom was treats her very badly. I can’t think well about her anymore. I hated her ( it's difficult to say that because she loved me a lot. but I love my mom I can't love people that talk bad about my mom). One day, my family were together to talk about that problem. My mom said: “Mom, I know you don’t like me but please I’m Luna’s mom. I don’t want, my child thinks badly about me. You’re a mother you know that feeling when your son hate you.” My dad said to my grandma: “Mom, if it’s true that you said to Luna (it’s my name) that her mom was bad and everything about her was bad?” My grandma answers: “NO, why you think that? Is that woman telling you that?” I said to my grandma: “No, it’s me. I’m sorry but I don’t want my mom was crying about you anymore.” My mom suddenly went out. When she came back I saw her eyes in tears. My grandma said nothing and she leaves, but I heard some voice from her. I thought she said: “Luna, I’m sorry to make you feel bad”. The next day, grandma treat me like normal, it was like nothing happened. I thought, my grandma understand me and I thought she love me and she didn’t want to me fell bad anymore. That day, the sky was blue, the sun was so shiny.
My grandma like my mom a littel bit just because of me. My parents are happy and the air of my house is became normal. I love my family. When I remeber that moment is difficult to me to deal with it but I feel ok now. It will stay in my miond forever but by the way I still want to thanks that moment because if that moment happend when I grow up I can't deal many difficult thing in life.=)
That sounds like a difficult situation Ivy. You have a conflict that really drives your narrative. The story is strong. I only recommend that you work on improving the hook and the resolution. Try something catchy like a question or maybe something about how it feels to hear someone talk poorly of someone you love. Also the resolution needs some more development. Tell us more about what you think happened and why it was important to you.
ReplyDelete@ Mr.Sullivan: I post a new paragraph for the final.:)
ReplyDelete